How To Know When To Say “Yes” And When To Say “No”


Do you ever have trouble making a decision? I asked my husband if this has happened to him. “Doesn’t it happen to everybody?” he replied.

Trending: The Power of Yes

Is it harder to say yes or no? We reject many of life’s meaningful opportunities by saying “no,” afraid of failing — or, worse, piling up more overwhelm than the mind can already manage in our busy lives.

On the other hand, “yes” has magic within it.

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There are benefits to saying “yes” to all parts of your life, both the parts you like and the parts you avoid. The key is not only discerning when to say yes, it’s knowing which parts of you are on each side of the fence.

What if you had a friend whose advice to say yes or no was always on target? Even better, what if this friend could provide support “onDemand” throughout the day, or even the anxiety-ridden, sleepless night?

Short of having such a 24/7 friend with our best interests at heart, how do we decide in a way that opens our future and brings us closer to who we want to be, to the life situation we desire, to peace within our relationships? How do we know whether “yes” or “no” in a given moment will positively (or negatively) change our world?

I’ll introduce you to how men and women who SoulCollage® (thousands worldwide) approach this question.

If someone offers you an amazing opportunity to do something and you’re not sure you can do it, say yes. Then learn how to do it later. ~ Richard Branson

Our mountain conference home, Lyons, Colorado
Path of discovery and inner reflection.

Wisdom Gleaned Through Both “Yes” And “No”

I just returned from a SoulCollage® Facilitators Conference in Lyons, Colorado. The Conference happened because one of our SoulCollage® Facilitator Trainers said “yes.

I was at the Conference because I said “yes,” not only to attending, but to presenting.

I’m going to share how I reached my “yes,” succeeded with my presentation, and thoroughly enjoyed the conference and travel. The reason this is important is because there are many parts of me that did not want to go, or even present, up to the morning I did. There were also parts — thankfully — who wanted things to progress as planned.

How is it possible to know who is speaking at any given moment?

The answer is: through your personal deck of SoulCollage® cards that you alone create. Oh, and did I say SoulCollage® is fun — for men, women and children?

Click on any photo to enlarge it and read the caption.

Participants at the SoulCollage® Conference in Sue's Session
Sue Gelber facilitating SoulCollage® and the Four Elements session
Group photo of Sue's session participants

Reader, I’d Like To Introduce You To My Exhaustion Neter

I had any number of reasons not to attend the SoulCollage® Facilitator Conferences this year. See if any of these sound familiar: I lost a significant portion of my income, the days conflicted with family needs, I was depleted from long work hours, and I already had my hands full. And, yet, my curiosity was sparked: My intuition was guiding me to say yes, or at least to learn more. With my SoulCollage® deck’s help, I did.

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(Committee Suit)

I Am One Who is exhausted from wanting more for you than you want for yourself.

Exhaustion (Committee Suit)

And…I Have Many Other Voices Within

I have nearly 300 SoulCollage® cards, created over 13 years. If 300 SoulCollage® cards sound cumbersome, they are. Luckily for our community, the President of SoulCollage Inc. dreamed and created the SoulCollage® App. Now I carry my cards on my iPhone. The App was also designed to do card readings: Wisdom onDemand. A friend in my pocket.

My First Big Travel “Yes”

I wrote about using my cards to commit to the conference in Italy last June (The Best Advice My Father Ever Gave Me). I had already committed to the conference in Colorado (from which I’ve just returned). So, before this conference, I asked my cards for support in preparing for my presentation.

Experienced SoulCollagers Can Skip This Section

Each “Neter” is, in essence, a SoulCollage® card. Each card has one central presence. Founder Seena B. Frost created SoulCollage® “suits,” for an awareness of different perspectives within ourselves. If my Inner Critic card arises in a reading, for example, it is a card in my Committee suit, thus has largely to do with my personality. If a Council card comes up in a reading, this reflects archetypal energy that informs my experience in the world, and others’ experience of me.

Imagine umbrellas: My Committee suit umbrella covers me alone. My Council suit umbrella covers all of us (i.e., our shared human experience). And, the archetypal energies informing my life might overlap with yours, and might not. Your cards will contain the Council members who influence you.

A common response in a SoulCollage® reading is that the “wisdom” that bubbles up is so meaningful that you are surprised the words could have come from you. In essence, images have a historical root in psychology and mysticism. They bypass our conditioned minds. The SoulCollage® process accesses the many “parts” of us that are as real as our physical bodies, yet that can die unexpressed within.

Finally, I am sharing a “card consultation” reading with cards I well know. For new cards, the process begins with a card introducing itself to you, through the “I Am One Who…” exercise. Some people confuse the two. Once you meet a friend, conversation follows. You don’t continue to introduce yourself each time you meet.

Consulting My Cards To Support My “Yes”

The question I asked is, “Who will help me prepare for my presentation in Colorado and how?” Each card’s message is an excerpt from a longer response (due to space). This is the order in which my cards “came up” on the App. In a four-card reading as demonstrated in SoulCollage® Evolving by Seena B. Frost, each card is individually read before turning over the next.

The Path of Love (Council Suit)

The Path of Love

(Council Suit)

Question: Who will help me prepare for my presentation in Colorado and how?

Answer: Let your presentation walk each participant from the center of their labyrinth to new growth, from the One Heart manifesting in Many directions. Love dissolves boundaries of time and space, the warp and weft of generations past, present and future creating a blanket upon which all join in a Sacred weaving of One.

Each of us is gifted with form to undo, restore, reclaim, release, unbury, remember, forgive and liberate. Flow can be re-established in stagnant waters of unfinished lives for Beings to come, through our hands and feet, eyes and ears, heart and voice.

(Note: This card was created during the late spring conference in Italy.)

The One Who Gives Up (Committee Suit)

The One Who Gives Up

(Committee Suit)

Question: Who will help me prepare for my presentation in Colorado and how?

Answer: When you doubt yourself as you prepare, know it is me casting a shadow from fear and insecurity. I am part of the generational healing you invite. What belongs to me, sprouting from my life alone, and what might be rooted in the unhealed past of my ancestors that I have carried as my own? In balance, I am confidence and a soul sense of purpose at the threshold of flowering, my growing awareness illuminating generational corners of darkness, both known and unknown.

(Notice how the next two cards — archetypes — influence this Committee member.)

The Malignant Predator of the Psyche (Council Suit)

The Malignant Predator of the Psyche

(Council Suit)

Question: Who will help me prepare for my presentation in Colorado and how?

Answer: You still doubt whether or not you even want to be a presenter. Your self-questioning is because of me, and it is self-sabotage. It also contains the voices of others’ Neters who have stepped on your tender sprouts of confidence in childhood.

At the threshold of flowering, especially for women, I am the archetype that tempts you to give up. How does it serve you to withhold what will be a gift for another, directly or indirectly?

We have the choice to soften the lives of others through our unique blooms. All you need to do is embody your flowering. This is the growth that can reach back in time and heal what has prematurely died through generations past.

(Note: Card name inspired by Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes)

Hag-Maiden (Council Suit)


(Council Suit)

Question: Who will help me prepare for my presentation in Colorado and how?

Answer: I am the Neter who carries the voices and wisdom of your ancestors. I am always in the company of another, flying free in the awareness of the Larger Story. Your Local Story voice will be the carrier of wisdom suppressed in relationship, withheld in fear, swallowed by death.

You have a local story eye and a Larger Story eye. Each provides a perspective that, together, create a bridge for others to access understanding and transformation.

(Note: Card name inspired by Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes)

The Questions You Can Ask Are Endless

Over the years, I’ve sought perspective and wisdom from my cards for my relationships, imbalanced emotional states (i.e., fear, grief, anger), whether to attend certain events, business decisions, caregiving support, physical pain, my place in the Larger Story of life, and more general questions. You can ask your cards anything, and (once you are skilled at crafting the question), every answer has meaning beyond words.

Conference Photos

This is where a “yes” can lead. Nearly 60 men and women gathered at Peaceful Valley in Lyons, Colorado this month. We came from both USA coasts, as well as another country. These conference highlights are but a drop in the bucket of SoulCollage®:

Somatic Archaeology healer and conference assistant Barb Brown, author of “My Body, My Earth: The Practice of Somatic Archaeology” and keynote speaker Ruby Gibson, conference creator and SoulCollage® Trainer Kat Kirby
Conference altar with a photo of Seena B. Frost. The conference theme was “SoulCollage® and the Four Directions."
Maggie Cahoon setting up the “Grandmother Circle” for her session.
Eight conference “dens" joined to create four weavings of “Indra’s Net” on the last day, in honor of Seena B. Frost. Each weaving group placed its Net on top of the others, forming a single Indra’s Net woven by about 120 hands. In the weaving ceremony, each thread was imbued with love and affection.
The river whose voice lulled us to sleep and provided music for our sessions.
An impromptu fire circle facilitated by Kat.
The lake outside the lodge.
“Den Mothers” cut the Indra’s Net into pieces, to send home a part of the Net with each conference participant’s “jewel” (a surprise gift from Kat). The artwork on the nametags (a different animal for each conference Den) is by Bee Sturgis.

Discerning “What Is Mine To Do?”

At times, though, “no” is the answer from our cards. One Facilitator, who lives just an hour from where we gathered, with courage and inner wisdom, withdrew from the conference. An artist who donated her gifts, this Facilitator was, nevertheless, present with her tribe through her art on our name badges and rosters.

Learn about the SoulCollage® process and find workshops and Trainings at our official website. Subscribe to our weekly articles and other offerings through the links on our blog website.

Sue Gelber is a certified professional homeopath and SoulCollage® Facilitator who has practiced, taught and clinically applied SoulCollage® for more than 10 years. Sue’s respect and appreciation for SoulCollage® as a healing tool and modality continues to deepen. Sue is also Soul-cial™ Media Coordinator for SoulCollage Inc. and past Blog Editor.



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